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GO Month: Mental Clutter - Z

Let's celebrate Get Organized (GO) Month by ridding ourselves of mental clutter from A to Z!

To celebrate Get Organized (GO) Month I'm doing a series of posts on the mental clutter that can be just as pervasive as physical clutter. For each letter, I'll talk about a mental stumbling block that often impacts our well-being.

Let's focus on Z ... Zingers

The slang term zinger means a witty or cutting remark or retort. Zingers can be insulting especially when slung to one-up someone or put them in their place. It doesn't feel good to be on the receiving end of a zinger.

If you struggle with clutter and live with someone or are in a relationship with someone and they aren't supportive of the relationship you have with the possessions in your life, you may have heard a zinger or two from them. Common ones include: You're so lazy. Quit being such a slob! Why can't you get your sh*t together? Why do you have so much junk?

According to Marta Kem, a couples counselor, here are a few things to consider for why your loved one is shooting a zinger at you:

  1. Your loved one might be feeling ignored or tired of playing second fiddle to your belongings

  2. They truly think they're being funny and will playfully say "I'm just joking!"

  3. They could be showing off for the benefit of someone else

  4. Our loved ones might be struggling with some unresolved hurts that rear their ugly head when they feel insecure in the relationship

Ways to combat these zingers:

  • Try to catch the arrows and figure out why they're being shot at you (see above)

  • Note when your loved one uses them and if there's a pattern

  • Ask your loved one to think before they blurt and model some alternatives "Are you worried my stuff is taking your place?"

  • Remember the key to handling someone's pent up resentments and zingers is our own reactivity to it - don't allow them to get the better of you

"Never blow out someone else's candle to try and make your own shine brighter."

Steve Aitchison

Here's to freeing ourselves from the mental clutter of zingers!

Please share with someone who needs a clearer mindset.

featured image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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